Steady, trooper. Ben Stokes's team may be approaching the upcoming Ashes Test already 2-0 down, but not all among supporters is deterred. Exists one unit ideally equipped for these circumstances, a dedicated unit who can lay claim to be the ultimate experts in defeat. Have your dreams been shattered? Are you crushed beneath the burden of unmet expectation? Well then, rally to the Barmy Army.
Already, their early arrivals are gathering in Adelaide, the city where they were established 30 years ago. England's best-known – and per capita noisiest – away supporters will be hoping for an celebratory against-all-odds victory, reminiscent of the one they witnessed on that 1994-95 tour. And no matter the outcome on the pitch, away from the field the celebrations will be protracted and hearty.
"The on-field action been incredibly disappointing," a veteran states, "yet we're the lucky ones, because we're on holiday. It's perhaps harder for the people at home."
Even a spectacular team failure fails to deter this group of battle-tested followers. They've been watching England's innings meltdowns since prior to many current players started playing. They've observed more spilled chances than star players have career scalps. Their touring history as an Ashes touring group is: contested many, lost often, won seldom. If anyone comprehend how to endure a clean sweep, they are the founding members.
Indeed, if you're watching, the Barmy Army are seen to be all over this series. Host broadcasters at the grounds frequently appear more interested in the Barmies than in their own fans. Sports networks frequently use them as banter-primed prelude to a day's play. Remarkably the cricketers on the field are heralding them, with someone clad as a monarch starting a singing of a national hymn.
It's possible that the Barmy Army's mix of endurance and ubiquity has now masked quite how stunning their rise of travelling fandom has been. In the early 1990s a small group followers were united in comical humour about failure at England's poor away record. Today their reputation is so synonymous with the men's Test side that their boisterous, "unique" crowd is all but establishment itself. They've certainly come a great distance since the early days.
One veteran can picture the eager expectation of the first Test of that formative tour. After the opposition on top, he started a six-person conga in the stands, winding up the home fans with a chant about historical figures. "Home supporters shouted insults at us, then threw drink containers – the stuff that we occasionally encounter today," he recalls. "But when we got back our small band of England followers had all taken part."
After an early setback, England's tour continued to struggle. Any supporter travelling with the team around the country surely was barmy indeed. By the time the bigger venues their crowd had increased to the hundreds. The squad, however, came to value their noise at the grounds. When England secured a face-saving victory, a senior player beckoned a Barmy Army figure up to the victory celebration to direct the celebrations. This connection persists.
But then, the significant volume the Barmy Army can muster are as attractive to the English game as they are to overseas venues. At this Ashes alone, their official tours will accommodate a large number of paying travellers. A variety of celebrations are organised for the significant birthday.
This is, after all, an entity born of fan enthusiasm and business acumen. The reason they date themselves to a specific Test is because that was when they started producing souvenir shirts. The first small batch was so quickly sold out – and lucrative – that it sparked a lasting enterprise. Over the years, the driving forces have helped turn a group of mates into an industry-leading sports tourism business.
That creates its own challenges, especially at a time when sport is trying to lose some of its rowdy image. The Barmy Army's management are eager to highlight that a sizable minority of their supporters on tour are now female. As times have changed, the songs have had to get more family-friendly, too. "Language that were acceptable 30 years ago you must avoid now, and that's as it should be," says a representative. "We can't tell someone how to behave in their own space, but we won't support songs that are insulting."
Could the Barmy Army mellow naturally? The mean age of fans is now in the late 40s – mirroring the pioneers, who have been happy to distance themselves from the management. One founder is savouring this tour purely as a fan – leaving newer staff to run the Barmy Army's social media. "It's easy to overlook how difficult it used to be to organise with each other," he laughs. "Our method was all by shouting – 'everyone's going to the pub!'"
As for England's plight, the unlikely scenario of a historic comeback still lingers, which is typical of their spirit indeed. In the event England are defeated in Adelaide … well, future travels is always an option.
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